


Chijou

by Akaicchi



Series: The Blackmailer and the Detective [2]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: Age Difference, Boundaries, Can't Move On, Developing Relationship, F/M, Friendship/Love, Infatuation, Jealousy, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-15 03:17:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13604403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akaicchi/pseuds/Akaicchi
Summary: Our story picks up about a month after "Yusuri to Deka". Ryoutarou's coworkers are trying to set him up, and Ai and Yuu encourage him to agree. But as Ryoutarou starts to date, Ai is realizing that she actually has feelings for the man. With some help from Yuu, can she sort herself out and salvage whatever relationship she has with Ryoutarou?Ai's viewpoint.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! thanks for checking this story out. I know it's a very odd pairing, but I ended up needing to get this story out of my head.
> 
> The title has a few meanings, including "being struck mad by love", "infatuation", and "jealousy".
> 
> I got the idea from an RP I did with @JiltedMoon on Tumblr, and then I kept doing too much thinking about it. So this is where I ended up... I like the way it came out.
> 
> The whole thing is pre-written and will update daily. Please let me know what you think!!

“Yeah, Ryuuji’s trying to get me to go out with his cousin,” Ryoutarou tells us, taking another swig from his bottle of beer. “I don’t really want to.”

_What?_

“Hmm?” Yuu asks. “Why not, Uncle? It might be a good opportunity.”

“Well you know... I’m not sure if I’m ready yet,” Ryoutarou evasively replies. He turns the bottle in his big hands, a frown on his face.

Yuu taps his pen on his notebook and I keep my head down in my own. “What did Ryuuji-san say?” Yuu prompts.

“He said that they way I’ve been dressing nicer, and shaving, and just more ‘upbeat’—That it means it’s time I get on with my life,” the older man admits. “I don’t think that’s necessarily true. I’m really just getting back on my feet...”

“You should date,” I break in, then squint, wondering why I even said that.

“See?” Yuu says. “Even Ai-chan thinks so, and she’s the one who’s been getting you back to normal.”

“Yeah...” Ryoutarou noncommittally agrees.

Yuu smiles at his uncle, trying to be encouraging. I have the urge to slap that smile off his face.

Ryoutarou drinks some more before going on. “Keisuke was getting on my case about it, too. Saying that I’m lucky someone like this woman’s even interested in me. But she’s only just turned thirty,” he rolls his eyes.

_What’s wrong with that?_

“So then Keisuke said I could even have another kid,” Ryoutarou shakes his head. “As if I’m even thinking about things like that.” He runs his hand through his hair anxiously. “I’m just trying to keep myself in line.”

“Might be nice for Nanak—” Yuu is cut off when we hear a loud snap.

I look down at my hands and see that my pencil has cracked in half...

Because _I_ cracked it in half. Yuu’s eyes are wide and he’s staring at me agape.

“What happened to your pencil?” Ryoutarou asks, glancing over at it.

“N-nothing,” I reply, squirreling it away into my pencil case. “It’s out of lead, I think.”

Yuu is still staring at me as I’ve gone nuts. He’s flicking his eyes between Ryoutarou and I, so I send him a glare.

“I—I think you should try going out with her, Ryoutarou-san. I can even pick your outfit!” I cheerfully offer.

“I don’t...” he trails off.

I frown at Yuu, telling him to say something. “Uh,” he intones. “Might be nice to try it...” He’s still sneaking looks at me. “Why don’t you set a lunch date, that way it’s less pressure.”

“I guess I could,” Ryoutarou says.

“Go call Ryuuji-san,” Yuu tells him, and Ryoutarou gets up off the couch to call the other man.

“Who _are_ these men?” I ask Yuu when Ryoutarou is gone.

“Ryuuji joined the force when he did, and Keisuke works up front,” the guy responds. “You didn’t know? They’re who he drinks with when he goes out.”

Ryoutarou _has_ been going out more often, but I didn’t really think anything of it. _If I tell him to spend time with me, he always agrees. I think he prefers being at home._

_But this is news. I hadn’t considered that his friends would try to set him up. I don’t know—_

“What are you thinking, Ai-chan?” Yuu quizzes. “You urged him to agree, but you don’t seem happy about it.”

“ _You_ can shut your mouth,” I quip as Ryoutarou comes back into the room.

He rubs the back of his head, sweeping his eyes between us. “Well,” he starts. “We’ll be getting lunch in a few days.”

_SNAP._

I look down at my hands to find another ruined pencil. I look up to see Yuu staring at me dubiously.


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ai's still encouraging Ryoutarou. Then he goes out and actually has fun. She doesn't care for that as much as she'd hoped.

I stay over the night before Ryoutarou’s date. When I wake up, I burst into his room, saying that I’ll be picking his clothes.

The man groans and rolls over, apparently not used to being woken up. _It’s not too early, he can do it._

I start going through his drawers and hear a sigh from behind me. “What’re you doing?” Ryoutarou asks, his voice still sounding sleepy.

“Getting your clothes ready, duh!” I snap. “Get up and go shower.”

“I—Ahh,” he stalls. “Can’t get out of bed right now.”

“Why not?” I demand.

He’s silent until I whirl around, hands on my hips. “I don’t wear much when I sleep. It’s not right.”

I roll my eyes. _Like I give a shit._ “Just give me a minute,” I order, finding the yellow plaid shirt I bought the third time we went shopping together. I pair it with a grey tie and grey pants.

“I wanted to wear the striped one,” he sadly voices from his futon.

“ _No_ ,” I reply a little too forcefully. “You can’t because— _Uh_ —Because you can’t!” I decide that’s enough of an explanation. I know he means the blue and green striped shirt. That I picked out on our first shopping trip. _My_ favorite.

He sighs from behind me. “Are you done? I only have the one pair of shoes,” he smartly quips.

“Yes, hang on,” I say, fussing over a wrinkle on the collar. “Okay, I’m gone,” I say as I leave, sliding the door shut behind me.

I feel angry, but I’m not—

_Okay, I know why._

_But I’m not admitting it. That’s simply not happening._

The rest of the day goes smoothly. I show up for school and hang around Yuu and his friends, like usual. They’re not so bad, since I’ve gotten to know them. I’m finding I’m partial to Yukiko and her fits of laughter.

After school, I make for his classroom right away. “We’re walking back together,” I order, poking my head into the room.

Yuu nods dutifully, grabbing his stuff and saying goodbye to everyone. We’re silent as we walk to his house.

Inside, Yuu goes right up to his room to study, while I hang around the living room. I make a pot of coffee and set up on the couch, like usual.

Nanako is home next. She sits at the low table, so I move down to be with her while we wait for Ryoutarou.

When he finally comes in, he seems to be in a good mood. “I’m back,” he calls to everyone.

“Welcome home, Dad!” Nanako yells.

Yuu comes downstairs to start on dinner, and his uncle grins at him. “Went well,” he reports.

“I’m glad,” Yuu replies, smiling back.

I feel a flash of annoyance when he turns to me, grinning. “Thanks for picking this shirt,” Ryoutarou tells me. “She liked it! It was a good call.”

I smile as best I can, trying not to frown. “Of course she liked it,” I snidely tell him. “It looks good on you.”

The man laughs and takes a cup of coffee for himself before sitting down at the dining room table to finish his own work. I move over to there, morbidly wondering if he’ll divulge anything else.

He does. “Her name’s Eiko-san, and we’re going out again tomorrow night,” Ryoutarou tells us. “To that nice restaurant in the next town over... I’m really glad I did this. I had a great time getting to know someone else.”

“Of course you did,” I smile. “I told you that people can be fun.”

Yuu’s over in the kitchen; chopping vegetables and whatever else you do for cooking. He’s quiet and Ryoutarou’s started working, so no one speaks for a while and his report seems to end there.

I notice Ryoutarou seems happy while he works and it starts to eat at me. I don’t go on another pencil-snapping binge, however. I simply let it simmer, hoping the feeling will dissipate.

After dinner, I realize that I should go home tonight. _I’ve been staying over an awful lot and I need more clothes._

“Give me a ride home,” I tell Ryoutarou, tossing his keys in front of him. They land on one of his unfinished reports and he leans back and stretches.

“Can you walk tonight?” he questions. “I need to catch up from taking a long lunch.”

“No,” I reply. “It’s dark and cold and I only brought heels.”

“What about those boots?” he asks.

I laugh. “ _Also_ heels. They’re chunky—Not for walking around.”

“Oh,” he sighs, rubbing his face. “Yeah, then I’ll take a little break.”

I get my things together and then tell him we’re going. Ryoutarou puts on his coat and hands me mine. I still wear that scarf he gave me, even though it’s drab and matches nothing I own.

He smiles gently when he sees me put it on and I feel myself flushing. I wrap it around my face so he can’t stare.

When we get to my house, I tell him to pick me up tomorrow. _I’ll have a bag full of clean clothes and will be ready to stake out the place once more—And I am not walking across town with it. I don’t care if I’m wearing real boots._

He agrees, and then waits until I’m inside to take off. My house is mostly empty. It’s big, but we’re only a family of three.

_I don’t care for it, honestly. I’d rather have something like the Dojimas’: small and comfortable. One room for each person with one communal space. It makes you all get to know each other a little bit better._

I go right up to my room and unpack. I toss my dirty clothes in the hamper for the housekeeper to take care of, and find more uniform pieces and regular outfits to pack back into my suitcase.

_My parents don’t seem to care—or even notice—that I’m rarely home these days. It suits me just fine. As long as I keep my grades up, they don’t bother me. Since I’ve actually started showing up to school, they’ve even increased my allowance. I’m totally fine on my own._


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ai opens up to Yuu and tries a different tactic.

Today, Ryoutarou picked me up after school, but then he had to hurry off to finish his work before his second date. I feel like slapping him. _I’m right here. Spend time with me like you used to._

When Yuu comes home later, he raises his eyebrows at me, sitting alone on my side of the couch. “You’re here?” he questions.

“What’s it look like?” I quip.

“Even Nanako went to a friend’s house,” he replies, taking off his jacket. “You’re going to stay there all night, waiting for Uncle?”

“N-no...”

Yuu smiles weakly. “We should talk, Ai.”

“What about?” I sarcastically ask, drumming my nails on my magazine and trying to sound tough.

“You like him—Uncle Ryou,” Yuu says to me.

“Ooh,” I snap shutting the magazine and rolling it up to smack him as he walks by. “Think you know _everything_ , don’t you?”

Yuu rolls his eyes and sits on the sofa with me. “No, but I’m pretty sure I’m right about this.”

I scowl, trying to give him the nastiest look I can twist my face into. Yuu only giggles.

“I’m not going to say anything,” he assures me. “It isn’t my business.”

“It doesn’t, like, gross you out?” I question, surprised.

Yuu shakes his head. “Not really. You’re more his friend than mine.”

I shake him by the shoulders. “Don’t be a brat!”

He laughs again. “You’ve changed since you’ve been hanging around my uncle,” he tells me. “In a good way.”

We sit quietly for a while, until Yuu says he’ll make something for dinner. “I think you’re going to get hurt,” he says as he walks to the kitchen. I follow behind him, not answering that.

“Why _wouldn’t_ he like me?” I demand instead.

“Because he doesn’t see you that way,” Yuu answers. “Do you... Do you _want_ me to say something?”

“No,” I decide. “I should do these things for myself.”

Yuu grins. “You’re really so much more...”

“Watch yourself—” I warn. “But here’s what I’m thinking. You and I are going to date again, you got that?”

“You’re not gonna be able to make him jealous.”

“Tha-that’s not what I’m doing!” I shout.

Yuu turns to me with a knowing look. “Yes it is. I don’t mind, but it isn’t going to work. You’re going to need to actually have a conversation with him.”

“Whatever,” I dismiss his suggestion. “We’re trying this first. So get ready to be all over me.”

Yuu sighs, but doesn’t turn me down. I step up to him and clap the guy on the shoulder. “You’re too easygoing,” I say. “That’s why we didn’t get along so well, you know.”

“That’s alright,” he says. “I’m doing pretty good on my own, as you can see.”

“You really are,” I agree. “You’ve made more friends, joined a team, and I saw that you were in a play recently. Too bad I didn’t just fall for you...”

Yuu snickers. “Poor me!”

I smack the back of his head. “I already told you to watch it.”

Ryoutarou rolls in kind of late. It’s already almost ten. Yuu and I are up watching TV in the living room.

“Evenin’,” he says to us, sounding beat.

“Hi Uncle,” Yuu replies.

“Ryoutarou-san,” I nod, shifting closer to Yuu.

The man comes over and sits down on my right, while I snuggle even closer to Yuu. “We’re dating again,” my friend brightly informs his uncle.

“Oh, really?” he asks, not seeming surprised.

“Yup!” I reply, holding up our twined hands.

“I’ll be damned,” Ryoutarou answers, then yawns. We’re all quiet for a while, watching some talk show. “Don’t stay up too late,” Ryoutarou finally says before heading off to his room.

Yuu turns to look at me, concern in his eyes. “So?”

“Yeah, that didn’t work,” I admit.

“Back to the drawing board?” Yuu offers.

“I guess,” I grudgingly agree.


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ai and Ryoutarou finally spend some time together like they used to. She tries to catch him off guard, but instead learns a little more about his thoughts on relationships.

Ryoutarou soon has another lunch with this Eiko chick and I’m growing more and more tired of hearing about her. _I don’t know her—Apparently she’s from one or two towns over._

The closer I seem to get to Yuu, the more space the man gives me, which I find infuriating. _He’s maybe buying it a little too easily._

Tonight I finally have a little bit of time just he and I. We’re playing a card game he taught me, and joking around like we did before.

“You know,” I finally work up the courage to say this. “I’ve been thinking—Why don’t I sleep in Yuu’s room with him, instead of on the couch from now on?”

“No,” Ryoutarou snorts. “Like I’d allow _that_.”

“Why not?” I ask, honestly having thought he was more easygoing about these things than he apparently is.

He rolls his eyes. “I barely like you staying over anymore, now that the two of you are properly seeing each other. It isn’t appropriate.”

“But you don’t care if we close the door during the day,” I quip, digging in my heels.

“That’s different,” he says. “It’s just not how these things should be.”

“What about you?” I ask.

His eyes fly open wide misinterpreting. “ _What?_ ”

“Will you have Eiko stay over?”

“O-oh,” he replies. “No, not anytime soon—Still not appropriate.”

“You’re really rigid about this stuff, aren’t you?” I scoff.

“I can be sort of... Old school,” the man sighs.

_Yeah I can see that._

“Why do you let me get away with so many things?” I have to ask. It’s been killing me for a while now. _If he has no interest in me, why spend so much time with me? When he could be off doing other stuff?_

_How could I have started to care so much?_

_...And how could I have been so wrong?_

Ryoutarou chuckles. “You’ve been good for me,” he says. “You’ve been pulling me out of my shell.”

_Then why isn’t it me you want?_

“I’m tired,” I remark, picking up all the cards, mid-game. “I need to get to bed. I have school tomorrow.”

“Right,” Ryoutarou replies, even though he seems annoyed that I called off our game partway through. “I’ll clean it up. Go on and get ready.”

I chew the inside of my cheek, so frustrated. _Why can’t he see it?_

When I’m ready for bed, I come back out to the living room. Ryoutarou’s got out a pillow and blanket for me. “G’night, Ai,” he says before going upstairs.

“Goodnight, Ryoutarou,” I quietly reply.

I wake up late, in the morning. Nanako’s already at the low table, eating her breakfast.

“Good morning, Ai-san!” she brightly greets me.

“Hey, Nanako,” I smile. I get up and grab my things to go take a shower. Yuu’s already in the bathroom, so I knock on Ryoutarou’s door instead.

“Come in,” he calls, so I do.

I lean against the jamb and ask him what he’s wearing.

Ryoutarou holds up a brown shirt and khakis. I wrinkle my nose and tell him no. “Let me see what else is clean,” I order.

He moves aside so I can dig through his drawers. I pull out a purple shirt to go with the khakis. He grabs his red tie and I wave him off. I grab a brown striped tie to match his pants.

“Oh,” he says, looking at everything together. “Yeah, that does look better.”

I laugh and pat his shoulder. “You really need me, huh?”

“Guess so,” he sheepishly smiles.

When I get back to the bathroom, Yuu’s out, so I take my turn. I go through my routine with my makeup, hair, lotion.

I finally eat when it’s almost time to go. “I’m going to leave without you,” Yuu shouts over to me from the door.

“You can’t leave your girlfriend behind,” Ryoutarou yells at him. “That’s so rude!”

“She’s not my—” Yuu starts, but then stops himself.

Ryoutarou’s eyebrows knit together and he looks between us. “Did something happen?” He glances at me for confirmation.

“No,” we both miserably—for our own reasons—answer.

He shrugs. “I’ll have work to do tonight. I’m going out for lunch again,” he tells the two of us. I see him glance at Nanako; she doesn’t know yet.

“I’ll cook,” Yuu offers, even though he’s usually the one who cooks.

I pitch the rest of my breakfast, no longer hungry. “Let’s go,” I say to Yuu, lacing up my boots.


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good news everyone! Eiko is gonna come for dinner...

“Eiko-san’s coming over for dinner,” Ryoutarou announces. “Tomorrow night.”

I freeze. Yuu looks up from his work, a smile already plastered on his face.

“That’s great, Uncle!” Yuu says, avoiding my gaze.

“Yeah, so make sure you’re free for dinner, alright?” Ryoutarou tells his nephew. “I want this to be perfect. I’m going to cook and everything.”

“What should I wear?” I ask, tossing my hair over my shoulder.

Ryoutarou shrugs. “Whatever you want. There’s no dress code,” he chuckles.

 _Now_ Yuu is staring at me. His eyes are wide, as if he’s begging me to back down and stay home. I shoot him a deadly look and he turns away.

“I’m thinking I’ll tell Nanako what’s really going on after the dinner,” Ryoutarou goes on. “That way, once I know she likes her, it’ll go smoothly.”

“What if Nanako doesn’t like her?” I have to ask.

I don’t think Yuu’s eyes can go any wider. “T-there’s no reason why Nanako wouldn’t like her, Uncle,” Yuu placates, kicking me under the table.

“You can’t know that,” I snidely reply, stabbing his hand with my pencil.

When we’re done quarreling, Ryoutarou looks nauseous, as if he hadn’t thought of this yet. He brings his fist to his mouth, thinking.

“Do you think,” he anxiously starts. “That I should talk to her _before_ the dinner?”

“Mayb—” Yuu tries.

“No,” I easily break in. “Your plan is much better!”

“Ai-chan,” Yuu breaks in, turning to me and picking up his textbook. “We should work on this in my room. I have a reference guide we can use.”

“We’re fine here,” I coldly reply.

But he’s already packing his stuff up. “No, we really should use it. It’ll be better this way, trust me.”

“Oh,” Ryoutarou lamely sighs. “Guess I’ll just go on to my room, then.”

Yuu’s tugging on my arm now, pulling me up from the table. “Can I get you after?” I ask Ryoutarou.

“Sure,” he kindly smiles.

Yuu brings me up to his room and closes the door behind us. “You’ve got to get ahold of yourself.” He folds his arms and leans against the wall.

“But he’s—” I groan.

“I know,” Yuu caustically replies. “But you can’t make Nanako hate this woman. What if she’s nice? I want—I want my uncle to be happy.”

“What about me?” I return.

He frowns guiltily. “Then you need to deal with this in a better way. Don’t be such a sneak about it!”

“If I tell him,” I breathe in. “What if he rejects me?”

“Then he rejects you,” Yuu shrugs. “And you have to move on. But you can’t ruin this for him. That’s just _mean—_ You’re not like that anymore. Don’t—Please don’t do it.”

I sit quietly for a minute, seething. “I’m not making any promises.”

Yuu sighs and nods. “You can get through this,” he insists.

“I don’t know...” I reply.

When I leave Yuu’s room, I walk down the hall to Ryoutarou’s room, unsure what we’ll even do. I knock on the door and don’t get a response, but the light’s still on.

When I go in, he’s lying down, still in his work clothes. He’s asleep, face down on his pillow, and I can hear him snoring.

“Ryoutarou-san,” I call.

“What?” he answers, muffled.

“Why don’t you like me?” pops out of my mouth before I can think better of it.

“‘Course I like you,” he replies. “I’d never...” the rest is too soft to hear.

I kneel down next to him and shake his shoulder. “Are you even awake?”

He nods, otherwise not moving. “I love you,” he says, groping for my arm on his shoulder. “...Chisato.”

I feel my heart flip over in my chest and then go dead. I swear it just _stops_.

_I don’t think he could have said anything worse._

“C’mere,” he mumbles, sliding over. He holds out his arm, and I’m tempted to just—

_Nope._

Sanity takes over. I click off his light and start for the door.

“Chisato...?” he again asks in his sleep, sounding sad.

_At least now I don’t feel bad about this dinner I’m maybe going to ruin._


	6. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's got decisions to make. Decisions that will affect someone else.

“C’mon,” I sigh, grabbing his hand. “I’ll show you what to wear.”

“I was thinking—” he starts, and I’m already annoyed. _He’s going to want to wear the shirt again. Why?!_

“What?” I demand when we’re up in his room.

“You know,” he says, rubbing his arm.

I sigh.

“It feels like you’re _against_ me wearing that one specific shirt,” Ryoutarou folds his arms. “Why?”

I take a step backwards, caught off guard that he would ask me outright. I frown, trying to come up with a plausible answer. I open my mouth to speak, but he cuts me off.

“You always say how it looks so good on me,” Ryoutarou goes on. “So I want to wear it tonight. This is important to me—Having someone I’m seeing come to the house.”

I chew on the inside of my lip, knowing I don’t have a good reason to tell him ‘no’. Feeling my anger boil over, I scowl. “Then pick out your own damn clothes from now on,” I spit. “You can get the rest of your outfit ready, too!”

I turn on my heel and leave his room before he can say anything else. I walk down the hall to Yuu’s room, open the door. He’s on the sofa, reading a book and wearing headphones. He looks up at me in surprise as I slam the door shut.

“What happened now?” he questions, pulling out one earbud.

“He’s such a _jackass_!” I hiss.

Yuu cocks an eyebrow and waits for me to go on.

“That’s _my_ favorite shirt—He shouldn’t wear it like he’s trying to impress someone else!”

“You’re not really making any sense, Ai-chan,” Yuu sighs. “Want to back up a little for me?”

But I can feel tears threatening to spill, so I just shake my head. “Why should she get to come over here, anyways?!” I demand instead.

“Because they’re dating?” Yuu replies. “To meet me and Nanako? The bigger question is why he wants _you_ here—You’re not exactly a part of the family...”

I glare daggers at my friend and he shuts up. “I’m—” I try, but can’t get any more words to push out.

Yuu sits up straighter and pushes his hair out of his face. “Look,” he begins, a grim expression etched onto his face. “If you like him, you’re going to have to say something. Otherwise he isn’t going to get it,” he explains. “You know that you’re not even on his radar, right?”

“Why not?” I demand. “I’m _pretty_ and—”

“It isn’t about that,” Yuu stresses. “He thinks this lady’s too young, he probably hasn’t even considered that you could have feelings for him. I’ve been thinking, and...” Yuu’s face contorts— _What now?_

“What are you going to do when I leave next month, and you have no excuse to be over here all the time?” he asks me.

“I’ll still come,” I reply. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Yuu closes his book and lets out a sigh. “You don’t think that’s _weird_? You don’t think Eiko is going to pick up on that?”

I dig my nails into my closed hand.

“I know you want her to, that’s why you came tonight, isn’t it?” Yuu dully questions. “You think you can intimidate her, like you do everyone el—”

 _“It’s not fair!_ ” I burst out, yelling.

Yuu startles and drops his book. “What’s no—”

“ _I’m_ the one who’s tried with Ryoutarou-san! _I’m_ the one who’s been taking him out to do things and making him dress nice!! _It’s me who’s been there for him, and now someone else thinks they can just waltz in and take him away form me?_ ” And that’s when I start crying.

“Oh, Ai-chan,” Yuu says, and I can tell he feels badly for pushing me. He reaches out for my hand and pulls me to the couch.

I take a seat, trying to clam down. “And he’s even wearing my favorite shirt to impress this bitch—It’s too much for me—” I dab at my eyes with the backs of my hands, trying not to smear my makeup.

“I hate this,” I tell Yuu. “I really, _really_ hate it.”

“I know,” he says. “I can tell... So what’re you gonna do?”

I bite my lip, unsure if I should even tell him about _that_. I know it’ll only add more layers to the drama. “There’s something else,” I divulge. “It’s not just about me—The other night…”


	7. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eiko comes over. Not for very long. Our surprise contender is... Yuu?

_I don’t care for Eiko._ That much is evident from the moment she walks in and introduces herself.

She’s too… _Average._

Average looking. Average personality. _Average fucking everything._

She also seems very put off by my closeness with Ryoutarou and the way I call him by his first name. I indignantly drop the ‘san’ tonight, which has been a long time coming.

He puts his own foot in his mouth a few times, like when he says he’s wearing my favorite shirt, or when he tells me to put my suitcase upstairs. But that’s unfortunately not enough to deter this one. She responds to everything perfectly normally, as if nothing is off at all.

The two of them act closer than I’d like. Eiko even gets Nanako to warm up to her quickly, which grinds my gears. That took _me_ a week.

After dinner, Ryoutarou and Eiko sit on the couch, talking quietly. There rest of us stay at the low table. Nanako looks at a book while Yuu and I just pretend to pay attention to her. I reach out and grab Yuu’s hand, smoldering. He glances down at our hands and he heaves a big sigh.

“I can’t take anymore of this,” Yuu eventually sighs. “I _am_ going to help you, but then you’ve got to take it from there. Promise me you’ll just tell him if I give you an opening?”

“Alright,” I quietly respond.

Yuu stands and walks away from me. He picks up the digital camera from by the television and walks over to Ryoutarou and Eiko. “How about a photo?” he smiles.

“Oh, okay,” Eiko agrees. Ryoutarou nods and Yuu turns the camera on to take it.

After the flash goes off a few times, he checks how it looks. “Uncle,” he asks. “Why don’t you put on some coffee?”

“Good idea,” Ryoutarou grins thankfully before rising to do that.

Yuu slides onto the couch in his place, fiddling with the camera. Nanako’s taken an interest as well, and she sits on Eiko’s other side. “Do you want to see?” Yuu politely questions.

“Sure,” Eiko replies, taking the camera from him.

She seems to flip through a few photos before trying to hand it back, but Nanako grabs ahold of the thing, stopping her. “Do you want to see our other pictures?” Nanako excitedly asks. _She really does love that camera._

Nanako takes the device and navigates much more quickly than Yuu. “This is one of my favorites,” she tells Eiko.

“Oh that’s—” Eiko starts to say, before Nanako interrupts to giver her own version.

In that split second, Yuu looks up at me and smirks, knowing of his cousin’s fondness for the pictures of our day trips. Lately, they’ve included Nanako, too. I feel my mouth fall open as Nanako starts talking about when we went to the beach last weekend.

“—and even though it’s winter, we had so much fun just being together!” she concludes. “Here’s me and Dad, and me, and Dad and Ai-chan!” Nanako pushes more buttons and begins to narrate our shopping excursion to the big mall in Okina.

“You didn’t go along, Yuu-san?” Eiko asks.

“No,” he replies. “They have a lot of fun together, but I’m usually studying.”

“But isn’t she your girlfriend?”

I hear footsteps and look over as Ryoutarou takes a seat next to me at the low table because the sofa is full. “Oh,” he comments, totally unaware. “Looking through photos?”

“There are a lot of yourself and Ai-san,” Eiko notes.

“Yeah,” he easily replies. “She’s my friend, too.”

Nanako is still showing off more and more, and I’m starting to worry that Yuu’s gone too far and really scared this woman off. _By the look on her face, and the way she keeps glancing at me, I think she’s out._

“He looks so _happy_ here,” Nanako earnestly declares, pointing at another photo. She’s completely lost and totally carefree.

“She’s really—” Eiko pauses.

“It’s from the _aquarium_ ,” Yuu adds, turning away to cough. I know he’s laughing, because I know exactly which picture is on the screen by way Nanako’s talking and the horrified expression Eiko’s wearing.

_It’s got to be from when I feel asleep in front of the whale shark tank. Nanako kept running all over, and I was exhausted. She ended up taking a shot of me leaning against Ryoutarou, asleep, while he’s got his arm around me, propping me up._

_And he had this great, kind smile on his face._

I suddenly feel kind of awful for ruining this date. _But I also know that I don’t want him looking at anybody else like that—Well except maybe Nanako. That’s alright, and—_

_Shit._

Yuu’s staring me down, raising his eyebrows. “You promised,” he mouths.

“Is something wrong?” Ryoutarou asks, finally picking up on the weird vibe.

“No,” Eiko, shakes her head. “I’m just, ah, realizing how late it is…”

“You don’t wanna see anymore pictures?” Nanako innocently questions.

“ _No_ ,” Eiko firmly replies. “I—I think I should be going.”

“Oh,” Ryoutarou glumly says, rising to walk her to the door.

Nanako keeps looking at the camera, curled up on the couch next to her cousin. Yuu smiles uneasily at me.

“You don’t think…?” I ask for his opinion.

He looks guilty. “Definitely dumped,” he answers. “Though maybe this will be a wake up call for him.” Yuu looks down at honest little Nanako, giggling to herself as she looks through all the photos.

“This one is also my favorite,” she says, showing the camera to Yuu.

“Aquarium,” he says again, and my face feels hot. He turns the camera around to show me. It’s a picture at the entrance. We asked someone else to take it for us, and Nanako convinced Ryoutarou to pick both of us up. _We look freaking ridiculous, but man was it fun…._


	8. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brutal.

When Ryoutarou comes back into the house, he looks bewildered and upset. He walks into the kitchen and leans against the counter, where he stands still for a minute.

“Which pictures did you show her?” Ryoutarou groans.

“Mostly from your trip to the aquarium,” Yuu replies.

“Huh?!” Ryoutarou perks up, like he’s just now connecting the dots. “Well why would you do _that_? No wonder she got the wrong idea!” He groans and rubs his forehead.

Nanako looks up at her dad, confused. “What do you mean? You look like you’re having so much fun in those…”

Ryoutarou huffs, and stalks into the kitchen, knowing it’s not Nanako’s fault. He rips a cigarette from the box and lights it up in, seeming like he’s trying to hold back his own frustration. Nanako asks Yuu if he’s mad at her, and he assures the girl she did nothing wrong.

“Uncle,” Yuu calls over. “If you know what bothered that woman, can you tell us?”

He’s still at the sink, lightly pounding the counter. “I-it was _nothing_ ,” he says in a hoarse voice. He puffs smoke all over, scowling at the floor.

“Must’ve been _something_ ,” I scoff. “She sure high-tailed it out of here pretty quickly!”

“No,” he says, sounding as if he’s choosing his next words very carefully. Ryoutarou inhales deeply, his whole chest visibly expanding. He lets it go in a whoosh. “It’s nothing I want to discuss.”

“Well, I think you should,” Yuu pushes the other man. Ryoutarou frowns at him and stubs out the cigarette. “For the record, I don’t think you were actually ready to give this a go. You should hear the things you say in your sleep.”

“ _What?_ ” Ryoutarou whips his head around, angry now. “You were spying on me?!”

Yuu sighs and shakes his head. “I’ll let Ai-chan explain this one. Come with me, Nanako.”

“G’night,” the girl says, following her cousin like she wants to quickly leave this tense atmosphere behind.

Ryoutarou pours himself a cup of coffee and walks over to the low table to sit down. “What does he mean, that you’ll explain it to me?” He sets his mug down and regards me wearily.

I huff and lean my chin on my hand. “The other night,” I start and he nods. “You said I could come find you after I was finished studying with Yuu.”

“Yeah, and?” he asks. “You never came.”

“Y’see,” I slowly tell him, poking at the table. “That’s the thing—I did. You were talking to me in your sleep. You called me ‘Chisato’, and you said you still love her.”

His face changes, and he looks like I’ve knocked the wind out of him. “No, I… I couldn’t have,” he mutters. He shakes his head a few times, AND then looks back up at me with this lost expression. “ _Really?_ ”

I nod. “I turned your light off and left you alone.”

“You should’ve just woken me up,” he rolls his eyes, recovering his composure a little. “Old habits die hard, y’know.”

“Will you always call her in your sleep?” I ask more forcefully than I intend.

“Is that any of your business?” he prickles, narrowing his eyes.

I fold my arms. “I don’t know,” I snap. “ _Is_ it?”

“W-well why would it be?!” he pushes the question right back.

“Why’d your date leave?” I demand, not budging. _I don’t want to be the one to say it first—I don’t want to have to put myself out there like that, knowing I’m going to get rejected!_

We stare at each other from across the table, a stalemate. Ryoutarou finally breaks eye contact to take a drink from his mug.

“You’ve clearly been thinking about this a lot,” Ryoutarou says, trying again to shove everything on me. “Can you tell me _your_ thoughts?”

“You first, old man,” I spit.

His eyes flash, and Ryoutarou grinds his teeth, like he doesn’t want to say it. Then—“You like me.”

“How do _you_ feel about _me_?”

“I don’t.”


	9. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're both pretty stubborn. Ryoutarou thinks he's handling it; Ai thinks he's running away.

There rest of the night is a blur.

I somehow make it into pajamas and then into bed. Ryoutarou cleans up and disappears upstairs.

I barely sleep. _I can’t believe he said that. It hurts..._

The next morning I dash out of there early, with all of my stuff. It’s a pain in the ass, but I walk all the way home.

I take a shower there and then go back to bed. I wake up some time later because my phone’s ringing.

_Ryoutarou._

_I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t—_

When I finally pick up, I can still hear him chanting “pick up, pick up”. I roll my eyes.

“Hello?”

“Ai?” Ryoutarou asks. “We need to talk.”

“No.”

“No we... We need to fix this,” he says.

“Oh,” I jibe. “So you’re thinking about me _now_?”

“Look, that isn’t...” he sighs heavily. “Please, can we talk about it? Yuu says you skipped school...”

I take a breath. “ _That’s_ what this is about?” I demand.

“Yes,” he pauses. “Well, no, but—”

“Then what is it, Ryoutarou? _Tell me_ ,” I command.

I hear a shuffling that sounds like him lighting up a cigarette. _I bet..._

“You using that lighter I gave you?” I question.

There’s a pause and then an audible puff of breath. “Yeah.”

“So?”

“So... I think we should talk about what’s really going on. About your—”

“And _your_ ,” I interject.

Ryoutarou groans. “—And _my_ feelings.”

“That’s better,” I quip. “I’ll talk to you. Come pick me up.”

“Alright,” he says before hanging up the call.

When Ryoutarou gets to my house, I change my clothes and meet him outside. I get into the passenger’s seat and tell him to drive.

We don’t speak until we’re out of town. Ryoutarou parks at the overlook. There’s no one here because it’s winter, and I get the feeling he doesn’t want to go to his house right now.

Ryoutarou glances at me after putting it in park. “I was caught very off guard,” he says without preamble. But now I feel like a real...” he trails off, shaking his head.

“Jackass,” I state.

Ryoutarou sighs. “I was thinking more along the likes of ‘moron’, but I suppose ‘jackass’ also applies.”

I shoot him a withering glare and he leans his head back on the seat. I fold my arms and watch the man. _I wish he’d look at me._

“Y’know,” Ryoutarou quietly starts. “What I said last night was very insensitive.” He pauses. “And untrue.”

I don’t say anything, waiting to see where he goes from here.

“I shouldn’t have been so cruel—I’m sorry.” Ryoutarou runs a hand through his hair and rubs his head like he’s nervous.

“Then why’d you say it?” I command him to tell me.

Ryoutarou’s mouth quirks into a frown. “I was angry—I know that you two sabotaged my date.”

“That was all _Yuu_!” I object. “He made me promise I’d be better than that, and I kept my word—So don’t you dare accuse me for that disaster!!”

Ryoutarou startles and finally looks at me. “Really?”

“Truly,” I nod, fixing my hair. “I want... I want you to be happy.”

He groans. “How long has this been going on for? Was I really so oblivious?”

“Yeah,” I confirm. “You’re a _dolt_ , Ryoutarou.”

He smiles weakly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...” he shakes his head and covers his face with his hands. “I feel like a grade-a shithead.”

“So is that all you wanted to say—To make me see your side of things?” I sharply ask.

Ryoutarou puts his hands in his lap and takes a breath. “I don’t think it’d be a good idea to return your feelings.”

“So that’s that?” I sniff. “This is the end of everything?”

“No, it’s—” he hesitates, looking for some bullshit to feed me.

“I don’t wanna hear it,” I quickly stop him. “If you think you can decide this on your own, without even consulting me, then you’re not worth it.”

“W-what does that mean?!” Ryoutarou responds, sounding hurt.

I look him in the eye and scowl. “You ‘don’t think it’d be a good idea to return my feelings’, you said. That _isn’t_ the same as telling me how you feel, so we can just talk about it—Which is really shitty!”

Ryoutarou glowers, staring out the front window of the car. “There isn’t much to talk about. There’s no way it would work.”

“That’s still not what I asked you.”

He turns his head towards me, but his eyes are still staring at the same spot outside the car—Not looking at me. “I think we should spend some time apart. It would be better for both of us.”


	10. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooh? Ryoutarou's gonna stop running?

I’ve spent the past three days holed up in my room.

I play around online, read magazines, order food, and sleep. School doesn’t sound like fun if I don’t have anywhere to go after.

Yuu’s been texting me a lot, and he called a few times to see where I was. _But I don’t really feel like talking to him, either. He says that Nanako keeps asking about me and that she misses me._

Apparently Ryoutarou’s been staying late at work and they haven’t seen him. _Good for him, going back to his old tricks for dealing with any little problem in his life._

I saw my mom yesterday, but she didn’t even ask why I’m skipping school again. Don’t think she cares as long as I don’t get held back.

Today marks fifteen days until Yuu leaves. _I should see him, but I want another day of staying home. I mean, it’s easy to coast from now until exams._

What I _don’t_ expect is the ring of the doorbell. It goes on and on, with no one answering. _I must be the only one home…_

I finally get up to see who it is. I pad through the big, hollow rooms and wonder if it’s even worth it to answer the door. It’s probably a package or something stupid.

It’s not.

It’s _Nanako_. At my house. In the middle of the day.

_What the hell?_

There’s definitely no one else with her. The girl stands there, shifting awkwardly in her school clothes as she counts aloud before ringing the bell again.

I finally snap out of my stupor and open the door for her. She looks surprised to actually see me, clutching her backpack and regarding me silently.

“Hi, Nanako,” I say.

“Ai-san!!” she gasps.

I hold up my hand in a wave before tying my hair back. “It’s me,” I say. “But how did you get here?”

“Uhh,” Nanako stalls.

I roll my eyes. “Just come inside,” I tell her, holding open the door and ushering her into the house.

“Wow,” Nanako exclaims once she’s inside. “It’s so _big_!”

“And vacant,” I laugh derisively. Nanako stares inquisitively, so I sigh and tell her to never mind me. “Do you want… A snack or something?” I question. “It’s a long walk from your house—And shouldn’t you be in school?”

“Well…”

“Nanako,” I raise my eyebrows. “Did you _skip school_ to come see me?” I feel myself grinning despite the fact that this really isn’t good.

In the kitchen she sets her bag on the floor and looks around nervously. “You haven’t been over in so long…”

“It’s only been four days,” I reply. _Which I guess is a long time to a kid?_

The girl sulks. I point to the breakfast bar and she sits on one of the tall chairs. I pour her a glass of water and she drinks it readily. _She must have been thirty._

_God, Ryoutarou will have a fucking cow when he finds out…_

I pinch my eyes shut and take out my phone to text Yuu. _I have to tell someone. That’s the responsible thing to do—The school could be looking for her!_

“Nanako,” I ask as I type out a message. “Does anyone know you’re here?”

“I don’t think so,” she answers. “I didn’t think Dad would let me come. He seems like he’s mad at you.”

 _Ooh, he’s going to be mad at a whole lot of people after this._ I know I’m smirking as I tell Yuu that he should get over here, and probably call her school.

“So why’d you find me?” I ask, leaning against the counter and refilling her glass.

“To tell you to come back,” she easily replies. “It’s better with you around.”

I feel myself softening at her words. “I’d love to,” I say. “But it’s not that simple.”

“Why not?” she astutely questions.

I breathe out, not knowing how to explain this to her. I end up chickening out. “I live here, so I should be here more often.”

“It is nice here,” she sighs.

Another smile creeps onto my face. _That’s not quite it. I much prefer your house._

My phone buzzes and I look down. Yuu’s told Ryoutarou about Nanako and the man’s coming to get her.

I curse aloud as I thank him for telling me. _I should really get dressed. I don’t want him to think I’m actually moping or something!_

“Wanna see my room?” I ask Nanako. She lights up and follows me through the halls.

“Did you just get up?” Nanako asks while I pick a blouse and skirt out of my closet.

I bite my tongue. “Nope! I just decided I would have a pajama day! Let’s not tell anyone, alright? It’ll be a secret!”

She nods, seeming to want to please me. _It’s too bad. Kids aren’t for me, but I really like this one._

All dressed, we walk into the living room to turn on the TV until her dad arrives. Nanako comments on how many channels I have and gets excited flipping around. It’s cute to watch.

When the doorbell rings again, Nanako freezes. “I have to go home?”

“Yeah,” I tell her. “It’ll be okay…”

She must think I’m lying, because Nanako stays parked on the couch. “Can you talk to him first?”

“Nn,” I groan. “I don’t know if that’ll help.” She stares pleadingly, so I agree and go to the front door on my own.

When I pull it open, Ryoutarou’s standing there with his arms folding, looking livid. “Where is she?” he grumbles, trying to look past me.

“Inside,” I answer. “Chill! She already thinks you’re gonna be so pissed!”

“Well I am!” he replies. “She skipped school and went off on her own—She could’ve been killed!!”

“That’s a little drastic,” I object.

He stares me down. “It can happen like _that_ ,” he maintains, looking about to explode.

“I don’t think you’re going to be able to explain it to her like this,” I protest. “Why don’t you calm down a little and—”

“No!” he yells. “This is really—” He blows out a breath, shaking his head.

Ryoutarou looks ready to barrel past me, even though he has no idea what room she’s in. I hold out my hand and press him back. “Do you know why she came here?” I try.

He knits his brow together, thinking. “No,” he finally admits.

“She’s upset that I haven’t been by. She thinks you’re mad at me, but doesn’t know why.” I frown, pretty ticked that he always keeps her in the dark. “Did you tell her _anything_?”

“No, I—” I shoot the man a pitying look and he grimaces. “She doesn’t need to know! It’s _my_ business,” he protests.

“What’s your business?” comes Nanako’s voice from behind me.

“Nanako—” Ryoutarou shouts.

She grabs onto my shirt and stands behind me. “I miss Ai-san!”

“She’s not coming over anymore,” Ryoutarou says. “And you’re gonna have to live with that. Let’s go.”

“ _Why?_ ” Nanako cries. “Why’re you so mad at her?!”

Ryoutarou winces. “I’m not angry with her,” he replies, clearly trying not to yell. “We’re just _not_ …” He grunts, running a hand over his face.

Nanako glances between us distrustfully while Ryoutarou grumbles to himself. “Dad?” she quietly asks. Ryoutarou’s face is stricken as he looks between us.

“I think you should be more honest,” I tell him when his eyes settle on me.

“I know,” he says, sounding completely exhausted. “I _know_ … Okay...?”


	11. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Ai's home-life for the Doujimas.

Ryoutarou looks so lost after he admits to have been holding out on me. “Come inside,” I sigh, moving myself and Nanako away from the door. She’s still behind me and eyeing her dad cautiously.

While Ryoutarou takes off his shoes, I grab Nanako’s and carry them with me down the hall. “Nanako,” I say to the girl. “Do you like fish?”

She nods uncertainly. I smile at her and find the bucket of pellets.

“Do you want to go feed the fish in the pond?” I ask her, holding out a scoop of fish food.

“Yeah!” Nanako enthusiastically replies, extending her hands. I dump the scoop in her small hands and guide her to the backdoor. I point to where the fishpond is, then walk back to the front hall.

I motion Ryoutarou to follow me to one of the sitting rooms and he does so without speaking. I do catch him peering around my house, obviously curious.

“So?” I gently prompt when we’re sitting.

Ryoutarou lets out a heavy sigh and folds his hands in his lap. “What do you want me to say?”

“ _Wrong_ ,” I sharply reply.

He gazes away. “I’m not,” he tries. “I don’t say things like this often.”

“I’d hope not,” I quip and he shoots me a withering look.

I wait while Ryoutarou folds and unfolds his hands a few times, then clears his throat before saying it. “I like you.”

“I like you, too.”

He glances up and looks at my face. “I’m sor—”

“Don’t apologize anymore,” I censure. “Just tell me the truth.”

Ryoutarou nods, seeming remorseful. _He really does have this worn-out feel about him today._

_Was he worried?_

_Trying to forget me?_

_—What the hell does he even think about?_

“Ryoutarou,” I reach out and push his shoulder. “ _Relax._ ”

He raises and eyebrow, so I prod him again. He chuckles and visibly sags back against the couch.

“None of us are going to die for missing a day of work, and you look beat,” I add. “What did you think—You could just forget about me by burying yourself in work again?”

“No,” he dubiously replies.

“Liar.”

“It was worth a shot,” he moans, shutting his eyes.

I slide closer and lean against his shoulder. After a minute, Ryoutarou puts his arm around me. I snuggle closer and close my eyes, too.

_This is…_

_Nice…_

_..._

“Ai— _Ai!!_ ” I hear, blinking back awake. “Who are these people?” my mom asks after I’ve opened my eyes.

I sit up and Ryoutarou’s arm falls away. Nanako’s sitting on my other side, clutching my hand uncertainly. “The Dojimas,” I yawn. My mother continues to stare, confused. I give Ryoutarou a few shoves until he wakes up, too.

“Hnn?” He vocalizes, glancing around, disoriented. “ _Ah_ —”

I laugh lightly, patting his arm. “This is Ryou—”

When he realizes he’s being introduced, Ryoutarou jumps up in a flash, reaching out to pull Nanako to her feet with him. “Detective Dojima Ryoutarou,” he announces, bowing. “And this is Nanako, my daughter. We’re friends of Ai-san’s—Please to meet you, Ebihara-san.”

It takes everything I have not to burst out laughing at his stiff introduction. My mom nods a few times and introduces herself, too.

“But why are you all _here_?” my mom questions, gesturing around the room.

Ryoutarou pales and I pull him to sit back down. Nanako takes the cue and does the same.

“We all have the day off,” I shrug.

My mom sighs in annoyance. “Take your friends to your room, the club is coming for tea in an hour.”

Ryoutarou glances at me, wrinkling up his face. I narrow my eyes, telling him to just keep quiet.

“It’s alright,” I reply aloud. “We were just about to leave.”

“We—” is all Ryoutarou gets out before I’m dragging him and Nanako down the hall to my room.

I shut the door and roll my eyes. “Take a seat while I get my stuff. She has no idea what working hours even are.”

Nanako makes herself at home at the low table and Ryoutarou follows suit, sill uneasy. Nanako looks up at him while I pull clothes out of my closet and dresser. “I’m not comfortable—”

“Save it,” I groan. Nanako giggles, and I can hear her picking through my magazines. “Oh, give me those,” I tell her and stick them in my schoolbag. “You can read them all later!” I grin.

When I’ve got a new load of my stuff, I turn back to them. “Let’s go.”

Ryoutarou doesn’t move, only shifts around, not looking at me again. I fold my arms and wait for him to speak.

“I don’t think you should stay over anymore,” he eventually says.

“Why not?!” Nanako objects.

He opens his mouth and then immediately shuts it. “She can still come over during the _day_ ,” he reasons with the girl.

“Let’s work out the details later,” I authoritatively decide. “For now, I wanna get out of here. Take this.” I push my usual suitcase towards Ryoutarou, and with both myself and Nanako staring him down, he sighs and takes it without further argument.

I lead them back through my house. I poke my head into the kitchen, where my mom is fussing over tea and a tray of fancy snacks.

“I’m going,” I tell her. “I’ll be staying at Ryoutarou’s again.”

“Not _now_ , Ai!” my mother admonishes. “Can’t you see that I’m very busy? Just leave a note on the calendar when you’ll be back so we can make arrangements.”

“Yup,” reply. “Bye.”

When I turn back to my friends, Ryoutarou looks ready to blow his top. He’s completely flabbergasted—I’m surprised there isn’t steam coming out of his ears. “Bite your tongue,” I quickly order when he tries to push past me and into the kitchen. “Works for me.”

He looks down at me, his face twisted up in outrage. “Two months ago you almost _died_! How can—”

I nod my head in Nanako’s direction and he shuts up. He’s still got this overly concerned expression, but I grab his jacket and pull him towards the door again.

Nanako doesn’t even seem to register that that was my mother or that she really couldn’t give a rat’s ass where I am. She’s simply gazing up at me, already talking about what we’ll do back at her house.

When we’re all packed into the car, Ryoutarou lets out a noise that sounds like a broken pipe. “That really steams me!” he roars.

“What?” Nanako questions. And I can’t help thinking that if Yuu and I hadn’t come along, she could have ended up the very same way.

I roll my eyes while Ryoutarou tries to come up with an excuse. In the end we ride to his house in silence.


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rational discussion about the future; finally.

We don’t address anything until much later. After dinner, Ryoutarou, Yuu, and I sit around the kotatsu to figure everything out.

“You can’t live here,” is Ryoutarou’s opening statement.

I fix him with a steady look. “That’s what I’ve been doing.”

“Well it has to stop,” he replies. “I’m not comfortable with this anymore.”

“You’d rather I stay with my parents?” I question while Yuu watches us volley back and forth.

Ryoutarou doesn’t appear to have an answer to that. He presses his lips into a line and glares at the table.

“What happened today?” Yuu asks, addressing Ryoutarou’s reluctance to reply.

Ryoutarou cringes before shaking his head. Yuu leans his chin on his palm and prompts his uncle to go on.

When the man doesn’t, I break in. “He saw how my family is,” I explain. “It shouldn’t be a shock, at this point, but I guess it was.”

“She didn’t seem to care where you went at all!” Ryoutarou states.

I roll my eyes. “And what—You thought I called home every night I’ve been here? What did you _think_ it was like for me?”

Ryoutarou’s eyes flash as he processes that. Yuu sighs; he’s known for a while.

“Uncle?” Yuu tries. “Where did you think your relationship was going?”

“Hey! It wasn’t like this the whole time—” I protest.

Ryoutarou grits his teeth and sighs. “Honestly? I thought she’d get sick of us and go back home.”

“Why would I...?”

“There’s a reason I’m alone,” he sourly replies.

“That aside,” Yuu intervenes. “You really thought that?”

Ryoutarou nods tentatively, as if that’s how he really saw this ending. _Is he out of his mind?_

“So now what?” I quip. “You saw that I’m not needed there. Let me stay here!”

“You can’t live on my couch for a year, Ai,” Ryoutarou says. “This is no way to—”

“It’s what I want,” I counter.

Yuu shakes his head. “He’s right, you know.”

_So what if I know?_

_Let’s not admit it’s true._

“We need to come to some sort of agreement that we can both live with,” Ryoutarou says. “I can drive you home at night, and—I was thinking—” he hesitates. “That if you still feel the same way about me in a year, then we can pursue this.”

“A _year_ ,” I scoff. “A whole year?”

Ryoutarou nods, fidgeting. “This is all too much for me... We need to talk more,” he tries to explain. “And I won’t feel comfortable until you... You know... Graduate.”

I widen my eyes and stare the man down until he looks away. “So what are we doing until then?” I carefully inquire.

He shrugs uncertainly. “I suppose the same things we do now, for the most part.”

Yuu’s mouth quirks as if he’s trying not to laugh. When I turn to him, he tries to suppress it.

Looking at Ryoutarou again, I decide to be direct. “But we can’t be together?” I ask for clarification.

“Well,” he shifts around again. “I want things to move _very slowly_ —Can you understand that?”

I frown. “You know I’ve been with oth—”

“ _Nope_ ,” Yuu interrupts. “That’s not even what he’s talking about.”

“Suddenly you’re the expert?” I demand. Yuu looks to his right, deferring to his uncle.

Ryoutarou grimaces and sighs. “He’s right. It’s more because of _me_. I—” His face screws up and I realize he’s being serious. _He’s going to tell me something difficult._

“I don’t know if I can handle any sort of relationship right now _,”_ Ryoutarou confesses. “Especially after what you brought to my attention the other day...”

_The talking in his sleep_.

“Oh,” is all I can say, because I am the one who brought it up.

“I need you to work with me,” Ryoutarou lets me know. “And I’ll try to do the same.”

“Pfft,” Yuu laughs aloud. “You make everything sound so grave!”

“None of this is a laughing matter,” the other man disgustedly replies. “I’m barely even addressing your age—”

“Oh _my_ age!” I sarcastically rejoinder. “Because clearly my age is my own fault.”

Ryoutarou winces. “That’s not what—“

“Then what did you mean?” I raise my eyebrows, waiting.

“Nothing,” he backs down.

_We’re not really getting anywhere._ I drum my fingers on the table. “It’s just a year,” I decide. “I can live with that.”

Ryoutarou visibly relaxes when I give him my answer. “Good,” he replies.

Yuu smiles at us. “I’m going upstairs, then.”

When he leaves us alone, Ryoutarou lets out a sigh and leans back on his elbows. “Do we have to change so much?”

“What do you mean?” I reply.

“I like things the way they are,” he confesses.

I snort a laugh. “So did I. But then you had to go and get a girlfriend, and it made me confront my feelings.”

“What if I hadn’t?”

“One of us would’ve hit a breaking point eventually,” I tell him. “It’s how these things work—Though you’re pretty damn oblivious. It probably would’ve still been me.”

I see him smile shyly from across the table. “You really like me that much?”

“Don’t get too full of yourself, Hobo-san,” I counter. He rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Make sure you shave. Looks like it’s been days.”

“I will,” he says, aloofly rubbing his stubble. I see Ryoutarou glance over at the couch, but it doesn’t seem like he wants us to move there. It’s like he feels better keeping the table between us.

_How much will everything change?_


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuu leaves for Tokyo. Will the others be all right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you os much for reading!! Please let me know what you think, it helps me figure out what will make for another good story :)
> 
> I would enjoy doing a third story when I have the time, so please look forward to it ^^ I've become attached to this odd pairing.

Today is the day that Yuu leaves for Tokyo.

I ride to the train station with the Dojimas and Yuu. We know the rest of his friends will be meeting us there. He rides in the back with Nanako, and I can hear the girl already starting to sniffle at her Niichan going back home.

“I’ll visit soon,” he promises. “By the time Golden Week rolls around, you’ll be shocked I’m already here again!”

“Y-yeah,” she tearily agrees. I face forward again, glancing at Ryoutarou. He doesn’t seem very excited about this, either. His jaw is set argumentatively, like he wants to tell Yuu to stay here instead.

I’d reach out and pat his arm, but he still gets so skittish about any contact between us. So instead, I silently wait for the station to come into view.

When we exit the car, Yuu carries his only bag over his shoulder. Nanako and I helped him pack his other belongings into boxes earlier in the week, and Ryoutarou brought them all to the post office to ship to his home.

Yuu stoically sweeps his eyes over the three of us for a minute before speaking. “You’re all... Going to get along now?” he questions, allowing a small smile.

“Yeah, I’ll make sure of it,” I reply, hands on my hips. I hear Ryoutarou sigh, while Nanako giggles and wipes her eyes.

“Make sure,” Yuu repeats. “I don’t want to call and find that _some_ of you aren’t speaking.” His eyes have a mischievous tint to them as he gazes at his uncle.

Ryoutarou steps forward and puts his arm around Yuu’s shoulders. “Let’s go,” he huffs. “I can work things out for myself.”

“Mmhmm,” Yuu innocently responds, glancing behind himself at Nanako and I. “I’d never doubt you, Uncle.”

“Shut up,” Ryoutarou gibes, giving my friend a shove.

We all make our way to the platform, where the rest of Yuu’s group are already waiting around, talking amongst themselves. When he gets close, the blond boy breaks away to hug Yuu, while Yukiko laughs and someone else groans. Nanako quickly joins the others, wanting in on the interaction.

“Go ahead,” Ryoutarou says, turning to me.

I make a face. “I don’t need to be involved with _that_ ,” I laugh. _Really, I just don’t know all of his friends very well. Only Yukiko and Kanji. Some of the others give me a vibe like... Like we wouldn’t get along._

“So?” I prompt, reaching up to rest my hand on Ryoutarou’s shoulder. “How do _you_ feel?” I mockingly ask him.

He sighs, but doesn’t move away. “I don’t know.” The man pauses for a minute, thinking. “At first I couldn’t wait to get rid of him, but he’s become such a part of my family.”

“You don’t want him to go,” I state.

I can feel Ryoutarou nodding without even looking. It makes me smile. “He knows,” I add. “Don’t think he doesn’t.” I catch Ryoutarou glancing down at me from the corner of my eye, but don’t give him the satisfaction of acknowledging it.

Yuu finally boards the train, and his friends chase it for a minute. I roll my eyes at their behavior, instead holding up my hand in a small wave from where I stand when Yuu turns to look at me.

_I’m not worried, nor do I feel the need to put on a show like the rest of them. I’ll probably call Yuu often, especially if I stay close with his family. I don’t need to look like an idiot to show him that I care._

Then everyone walks over to us, comforting Nanako, who’s really sobbing now. I reach out to her and the girl grabs onto my hand. Yousuke looks shocked, and even backs up a few steps into Kanji when he sees our exchange.

“What?” I bluntly demand.

He doesn’t dare say anything. Nanako turns back to look at the others, and I see Yukiko’s face twists up like she’ll laugh. Chie glares at Yousuke, who clearly doesn’t understand that he’s being rude.

“C’mon, Nanako,” I say, pushing my hair over my shoulder as I turn around. Ryoutarou stands there stupidly watching the group, so I give him a look and he starts walking to catch up to us.

“Where does she get off—She can’t even _talk_ to us?!” Yousuke grumbles, and then yelps. I assume Chie’s smacked him.

_I’m glad I started to spend more time with Yuu’s friends during school. It’ll be nice to have someone to talk to without him here._

Back at the Dojima house, Ryoutarou and I stare at the food in the fridge while Nanako watches TV. She’s thankfully cheered up a little, thanks to some inane children’s show that’s blaring.

“I have to do this every night?” Ryoutarou groans. “It gets to be such a hassle—What do I even make with what he’s left over?”

“Don’t ask me.” There’s some kind of fish and a few stray vegetables. I shrug. “ _I_ don’t cook.”

“Really?” Ryoutarou asks, placing everything on the counter. “Not at all?”

I find myself laughing as I realize I’ve never had a reason to. “No,” I shake my head. “Most of our meals are eaten out, ordered in, or prepared by someone else.”

Ryoutarou frowns. “Then why do you have a kitchen?”

“Who knows?” I agree.

“Do you want to learn?” he asks, setting out a cutting board.

I know I’m grimacing, but cant help it. Cooking’s always been presented as beneath me. “I... Guess...”

“You don’t _have_ to,” Ryoutarou chuckles. “I just thought you might want to share the burden if you’ll be over all the time.” He sighs dramatically as he starts chopping an onion.

I see him smirking as he goes on. “Nanako can always pick up my slack,” he tells me.

“Gimme the knife, old man,” I spit, pushing him aside. “I can at least chop an onion.”

I hear him laughing as he turns on the stove and prepares the fish. “It’s not terrible once you get used to the routine.”

“Says the one who was just complaining about having to cook,” I return.

Ryoutarou ends up doing most of the work, explaining his slapdash ways of measuring and figuring out if meat is done. It doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in tonight’s dinner—Especially when Nanako wanders over and worriedly turns up the heat.

After we’re done eating, Ryoutarou drives me home. “See you,” he says when he throws it into park.

“Tomorrow,” I finish for him and the man shakes his head.

“Relax,” he tells me. “You’re free to come over whenever you want, but you can take some time to yourself.”

I purse my lips, aggravated that he’s always trying to reassure me that I can do whatever I want, rather than telling me that he really wants to see me. “We’ll see,” I answer and he smiles amiably.

I’m exiting the car when Ryoutarou grabs my arm. Surprised, I shift myself back onto the seat so I can turn around and see him.

“We’ll be fine, you know,” he quietly tells me. “You don’t have to worry; I’ll make an effort to tell you what I’m—What I’m feeling.”

“You promise?” I angle.

He lets go of me and nods. “Yes, I promise.” I see him swallow and take a breath. “Even if it’s hard.”

I snicker at his honesty. “That’s a plan.”

“Goodnight, Ai,” he says, moving back to his own seat.

“Goodnight Ryoutarou,” I reply, smiling as I shut the door.


End file.
